In 2008 I met Aaron. We shared an interaction that lasted about one hour and I have not seen him since. And yet, the ways we both chose to show up to that moment changed my life forever.
I had just moved to New York City to start university and was struck by how many people were affected by homelessness. After spending days and weeks getting to know people who lived on the streets, I felt compelled to respond in some way. I began volunteering to bring access to critical services to people spending their nights at Penn and Grand Central Stations.
Those interactions made it ever clearer to me that the value I brought was not the sandwich or directions to the shelter. The deeper desires people held were for connection and authentic relationships.
This realization brought me to a homelessness drop-in center where I offered to host creative writing workshops as a way to foster community. As I started preparing for the first session, it dawned on me that not every participant might be able to read and write. On the N train to class, I wondered how I could change the approach to ensure that all participants could connect and share their stories freely.
I began exploring the idea of using visuals and artistic expression as ways to spark conversation. At first I thought I could bring in images of famous artworks for us to discuss together. But I soon realized that this approach could result in the same problem I was trying to solve: some people may be familiar with the ‘famous’ artworks, while some may not be.
I did not want knowing or not knowing to set the stage for how we could relate to each other. I knew I needed an alternative.
Just as I began feeling discouraged, I stepped off the train and onto 8th Street. For the first time since moving to the city, I suddenly noticed the street signs:
Yes!!! Visuals that we all recognize as residents of New York City!! What if we could use street imagery to connect with ourselves and each other?
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The next day, on the A train, I drew a U-Turn sign on a piece of paper. The U was wobbly, with an arrow pointing to the top on the right side. I made photocopies and brought the stack of papers into the drop-in center.
In the first workshop I ever facilitated, I did not know I was facilitating a workshop. I simply handed out the papers I had prepared and asked the group: What do you see in this image?
In response, participants called out, “a U!” “if you flip the paper, a C?” “if you flip it again it even looks like a lowercase n…”
I then ceremoniously threw crayons and markers and colored pencils onto the table.
Whatever you see, whatever this means to you, find a way to draw your life onto this paper. You can use colors or words or images to represent different ideas and you don’t need to be good at drawing. It’s just a moment to reflect on our journeys in a visual way.
Once everyone had finished drawing, I gently asked if anyone wanted to share. I made sure to emphasize that there was no pressure or expectation to do so, this was simply an invitation to share and listen to each other’s stories.
Aaron, a veteran who had lived on the streets for a very long time, raised his hand and said he wanted to share his drawing with the group.
I see this sign as a U-Turn sign, a moment to think about my life. What if I could make a U-Turn? Here on the left you see me as a bird that is sitting on the ground. It’s not moving. It’s just there.
But as I continued drawing, I realized the bird has wings. What if it can fly?
And here at the top right of the U-Turn, is me flying – beyond the trees, towards the sun. And here I’ve drawn my smiling face, happy to see that I am finally flying.
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Seventeen years have passed since that moment. And for seventeen years I have kept his drawing with me: a revered reminder that he was qualified to profoundly impact my life, simply by being himself.
Aaron’s wisdom – his story and his courage to share it – has served as a close companion to my own journey. His drawing has brought me inner clarity, hope and resolve to live more fully as myself.
As I continue on this path, I am particularly struck by the destination of the flying: the idea that by activating our agency, the destination becomes our true, smiling selves, supported by the sun and the trees.
Today I can see how the arc of his drawing has been the arc of my inner process, that as different as our paths may be, we have both discovered our agency to fly. And this has transformed my understanding of shared purpose.
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As I now share a new creative expression from this place of agency, deeply encouraged by the Adaptive Change Advisors community, I want to honor Aaron and the countless individuals who, in brief moments and across time, have helped me fly toward who I am and who I am becoming.
Through this 6-part series I will be sharing stories from my own unfolding U-Turn journey. My hope is that these stories will animate the living questions and themes that we will explore together through the Adaptive Leadership™ Coaching Certification Course.
My belief is that continually, intentionally and openly showing up to my own adaptive leadership work – as challenging and quiet and cyclical as it might be – is what makes profound co-creation possible with my clients.
This invitation is for any coach curious about reimagining leadership, connecting more to their true self and transforming what’s possible through leadership coaching.
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To paraphrase recent insights about the very essence of Theory U from Otto Scharmer, who published his first book on the subject in 2007, awareness-based systems change happens through “deepened attention, awakened intention and activated agency.”
These are the core elements I see in Aaron’s U-Turn, my own adaptive journey and in our Adaptive Leadership™ Coaching Certification Course.
The next cohort runs from 30 January – 6 March 2025. Seats are limited.
Will you join us?